[Kang Rae-kyung Column] Let's Pay to Show Off!

Instructor B to Instructor Y

[Photo credit=Pixabay]

[Korea Lecturer News Columnist Kang Rae-kyung] My granddaughter recently celebrated her first birthday. However, while it is special only to our family, it is no big deal to others. Still, if someone shows even the slightest interest in my granddaughter in my phone wallpaper, I could tell them the story of her one-year growth until their ears bleed.

Anyone would feel the same way. However, if your children remain unmarried and the grandchildren you are waiting for do not appear on time, you cannot help but feel uncomfortable with someone else’s boasting. It is no wonder people say, “If you want to boast, pay them!” It can be considered a rational transaction to pay someone to listen to you in order to satisfy your desire to show off.

In reality, it is human nature to treat others to a meal when you experience something that others would envy. Whether it is receiving a prestigious title, winning an award, or celebrating a special anniversary, people pay for the expenses in exchange for receiving congratulations. Nowadays, it is also common for someone who has struck it rich through stock investments to treat others to a meal.

However, they get angry when told to pay taxes because housing prices have risen. These are the same people who would go all-in to buy a house and screamed with joy when prices skyrocketed. Yet, as soon as capital gains tax or property tax is mentioned, they make a huge fuss, shouting, "Did I raise the prices?" and "I hate it when prices go up, too." It is not as if we are asking them to treat us to a meal. We are simply asking them to fulfill their legal obligations, but they act as if they have been robbed.

Looking at the World Happiness Rankings selected by the UN, Nordic countries dominate the top spots. Even Finland has maintained the number one spot for nine consecutive years, despite having the ninth-highest prevalence of depression in the world due to environmental factors such as the midnight sun and polar night. The reason for this is "Jante's Law." Jante is the name of a village in a novel by Danish author Axel Sandemose. The village has ten community rules, the core of which is, "Do not think of yourself as special compared to others." It emphasizes humility and equality, fundamentally blocking any sense of individual superiority.

There is also the advice to “not care about the gaze of others.” This means not feeling intimidated or experiencing relative deprivation by comparing oneself to others. Virginia Woolf, a representative modernist writer and pioneering feminist, also cautioned against being conscious of others, stating that “the eyes and thoughts of others are a prison and a cage that confines us.”

However, social media is overflowing with boasting. People tell us not to pay attention to it, but it is not easy to become indifferent. The realistic approach is for the individuals involved to exercise restraint. That is why instructors must be careful. No, they *must* be. How contradictory it is to speak of empathy, community, and consideration in the classroom while acting solely on one's own emotions, prioritizing personal gain, and behaving calculatively in daily life!

We are utterly exhausted living in a competitive society. It is hard to find anyone who claims not to be tired. Who on earth, and what, is causing this fatigue? In his book *The Fatigue Society*, Professor Byung-Chul Han of the Berlin University of the Arts sharply criticized the current meritocracy.

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As society rapidly shifts from a discipline-oriented to a performance-oriented one, people have come to regard winning in competitions as the ultimate goal, regardless of the process. They engage in self-exploitation by shouting "work harder" to become a winner, rather than considering right or wrong, and this is the very essence of the fatigue society. However, it is fortunate if one obtains what they desire by pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion. Moreover, in a world where the price of a house rises by hundreds of millions of won every year to reach billions, those who "borrowed heavily" might feel that they have been rewarded for their efforts and judgment.

However, the problem lies in what follows. They own homes that would require saving every penny of their salary for decades to afford, yet they are stingy when it comes to paying taxes. Rather than envying homeowners, the weariness caused by their greed turns into self-loathing and eventually degenerates into anger. Ultimately, instead of cheering for each other's happiness, they become obsessed with themselves, and if they cannot get ahead, they find comfort in the fall of others.

It is a form of schadenfreude, a German word combining "loss" (Schaden) and "joy" (Freude). It is the pleasure felt from witnessing the misfortune or suffering of others. While those who harbor hatred may harbor such feelings, it is by no means a healthy mindset. A society where people heal their own fatigue through the pain of others is not a world worth living in, but a brutal one.

François Lelord, author of *Monsieur Cuvée's Journey to Happiness*, emphasizes that "people rush toward the past or the future in search of happiness, but the here and now is what matters. If you turn away from the present, your existence vanishes. Happiness is not a future goal, but a present choice." If everyone takes responsibility commensurate with their own happiness and pays the cost with dignity rather than as a privilege, a world where everyone is happy will be one step closer.

Columnist Profile

Kang Rae-kyung, President of the Korea Lecturers Association (2023–present), is a lecturer with over 30 years of experience. He entered the field of industrial education in 1990, working in sales, planning, and operations before beginning his lecturing career in 1993. He holds a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology and has completed doctoral coursework in Lifelong Learning (majoring in Leadership). He currently serves as the CEO of We Can Talent Management. Having worked as a lecturer for a long time, he considers being a "lecturer who helps lecturers" to be both his responsibility and his source of fulfillment. His published works include *Living as a Lecturer in Korea* and *If You Can't Negotiate, You Can't Go Far Even If You Go Together*.

The column "[Instructor B to Instructor Y]" captures “the thoughts and feelings the Baby Boomer generation wants to convey to Young Instructors.”

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