[Han Jihye's Field Notes on Self-Reliance Education] Why Do We See Each O...

It’s Not About Greetings — It’s About Relationships

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[Columnist Han Jihye, Korea Lecturer News] There are workplaces where people see each other every day, yet rarely exchange greetings.

It’s not that people are absent — it’s that words are.

During a recent workplace etiquette session with participants in a self-reliance program, I asked a simple question:

“I’ve heard that your center has no workplace bullying and maintains a very positive atmosphere. Is that true?”

The responses were… subtle.

Indifferent expressions, short replies like “Yes, that’s right,” and even faint, awkward smiles.

On the surface, everything seemed fine.

But underneath, there was clearly something left unsaid.

So I shifted the conversation naturally toward greetings.

“What makes a good greeting?

How do you greet each other when you arrive at work?

Do you usually say hello to one another?”

A few people answered, “Yes,”

but the atmosphere quickly became quiet again.

So I asked once more:

“You see each other every day — do you not really greet each other?”

The responses were similar.

Avoided eye contact, brief answers, and people brushing it off with a smile.

In that moment, I realized something.

This wasn’t about greetings.

It was about relationships.

I often tell my participants that a greeting is more than just a form of courtesy.

It has the power to gently brighten both your day and someone else’s.

But that day, I saw it differently.

People weren’t avoiding greetings because they were rude.

They were avoiding them because the atmosphere between them had already hardened —

because the relationships themselves no longer felt comfortable.

After that, we did a short activity titled, “What makes work difficult?”

Participants wrote down their honest thoughts on small sticky notes.

“The tone of voice feels cold.”

“It’s stressful when people speak loudly.”

“It’s hard to start a conversation.”

“Even being together feels uncomfortable.”

“I don’t greet others because it feels like I’m being ignored.”

Each sentence was different,

but they were all telling the same story.

They weren’t failing to greet each other because they lacked manners.

They weren’t greeting because the relationships themselves didn’t feel safe.

Not many people would say that their workplace feels truly happy all the time.

And the expectation that we must get along with everyone, maintain positivity, and build perfect relationships can itself become another burden.

So I tell them this:

“It’s okay if your workplace isn’t always happy.

But I hope it’s not uncomfortable.

You don’t have to be close to everyone —

but you can still build healthy relationships.”

In self-reliance work settings, a simple greeting can be the beginning of that.

“Hello.”

“Go ahead.”

“Good work today.”

These short words become signals —

signals that say, I acknowledge you. I see you.

A good workplace doesn’t have to be a place where everyone feels comfortable all the time.

But it should at least be a place where people can share the same space without making each other uncomfortable.

So today, once again,

I say this:

Let’s start again —

with a simple greeting.

Columnist Profile

Han Jihye is the CEO of Busan Future Education Center and a professional instructor specializing in self-reliance education. She designs and delivers educational programs across corporations, universities, and public institutions.

With a focus on emotional recovery and attitude transformation among self-reliance participants and practitioners, she has consistently implemented participatory, field-based training centered on self-awareness, relationship building, and team development.

Based on her extensive field experience, she views education not merely as the transfer of knowledge, but as a process that restores organizational culture, workplace well-being, and individuals’ lives.

Through her column series “Jihye Han’s Field Notes on Self-Reliance Education,” she shares real-life cases and insights from the field, aiming to broaden the understanding and value of self-reliance education in society.

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